So Close Yet So Far
by chelsmander
Summary: Kevin and Jess deal with the trauma of their brother/best friend falling into a coma.
1. Intro

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

_A little bit longer, and I'll be fine_

_So close yet so far, but in my heart you're here with me_

How could those songs link together to tell the story of a teenage girl and her best friend?


	2. Chapter 1

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

"God bless, see you next week, Loretta, with a bazillion smiley faces after it. Next?" Nick sat at the computer reading out the hundreds of myspace comments we had received over the past two days. We had been at it for almost an hour, taking turns in reading them aloud.

"Can I pee first? I've been holding it for the last five comments!" Joe had started fidgeting almost twenty minutes ago and Nick had enjoyed making him suffer far too much. I was about to excuse Joe when Nick began reading the next comment.

"Joseph Jonas. I swear if you looked any better shirtless I might just pass out. O-M-G!" I turned to look at Joe and he had a huge smile on his face. Yet another comment designed to enlarge his ego. Nick on the other hand was gagging. It had taken him a moment to realize the exact words that had left his mouth. "Go! Now! Pee! I need a moment to rinse out my mouth." As the two of them left I moved in front of the computer to continue reading the comments. I scrolled down and saw a comment matching a number of others we had received.

_Hey guys. How are you? I hope all is well. _

_You guys are incredible and you are doing such an amazing job for the fans but we have all started to notice that you are not as energetic as you used to be. Also there are a number of photos where you all look shockingly pale and thin. Please slow down on the touring before one of you gets ill. That's the last thing we want to see. _

_Don't forget to take a breath. _

_God Bless,_

_Joy xx_

Did we really look that unwell? Sure, we were a bit sleepier than usual but I didn't think it was taking that big a toll on us. I continued scrolling down and saw several more comments showing their concern for our health. Nick and Joe returned and I made them read those that I had just looked at. We turned to each other as we struggled to understand the concerns of our fans. I guess we needed another opinion. Joe grabbed his phone and texted the two people we could always turn to.

Ten minutes later and Jess and Chelsea walked through the door. They were our best friends and were always there for us, through thick and thin. Recently Jess and Joe had gotten closer and Nick and I assumed they were dating, but that was yet to be confirmed. Chelsea and I had always been closer to each other than any of the others as we were the oldest but we were just friends. Nick and Jess were so tight I don't think anything could ruin their friendship. I don't recall them ever arguing.

J-Dog and C-Dog, as they liked to be called, were brilliant at giving advice. We asked them about everything and our new dilemma was nothing different.

"Do you guys think we've been touring too much and need to take a break?" Joe was always upfront when he had to be serious. Chelsea and Jess looked at us and observed our appearances.

"You guys need sleep. And lots of it. Reckon you could postpone the tour?" Jess was just as upfront as Joe. Neither of them enjoyed serious conversations and tried to get out of them as fast as possible. Nick and Joe both turned to me with worried expressions covering their faces. I knew they wouldn't postpone the tour so I thought of a compromise.

"How about we finish this tour, then take a break. We have two weeks left so we might as well finish that, but then we'll wait a while before we start a new tour."

"Kevin, you always were one for smart compromises. Just take it easy on stage, none of this 'I'm-going-to-do-a-really-cool-flip-just-to-show-up-the-other-guys' stuff, ok?" Chelsea was good at ruining things for Joe and taking away the fun for him, although she also managed to make anything fun if she wanted to.

"But Chelsea! That's no fun!"

"And neither is the idea of one of you getting sick. How about one flip per show? But that's my final offer." Joe had tried the puppy dog eyes but they weren't getting him anywhere. In the meantime Jess and Nick had wondered into their own conversation and were busily discussing the previous night's episode of Supernatural.

After reaching a one-flip-per-show consensus we began chatting about everything we wanted to do on break.

The next day we woke up at one in the afternoon, giving us ample time to get ready for sound check, if we weren't Joe. While Nick and I found it easy to get ready within two hours Joe struggled greatly. After an hour of deciding which colour jeans he should wear it took another 20 minutes to choose a shirt and jacket, before adding fifteen minutes in front of his Nike collection. Once that was complete he asked how he looked his routine four times, before shovelling down the bowl of corn pops waiting for him on the kitchen bench. We left the hotel at exactly three, meaning we would make it to the auditorium on time.

Sound check began smoothly and finished about half an hour later, our quickest check in a while. It was now four o'clock and there was a large line of teenage girls standing outside, waiting to be let inside for the concert. Nick suggested we grab something to eat and a red bull and hang out in the tour bus until the show.

While we were in the bus Joe and I managed to get an extra hours sleep, but Nick stayed up, choosing to watch Lost instead. Lockdown time arrived and the three of us said a prayer and did our usual thing. At the end we entered the building and as the door opened we could hear the screams of thousands of adolescent girls.

The lights dimmed and the screams grew louder. We walked on stage and the cheers were deafening. I began the guitar riff for S.O.S. and Nick started singing. The lights came on and cameras were flashing. This is exactly where I was born to be. My favourite things, all in one place. Music, performing and family. Life could not get better.

An hour later and we were all worn out but we still had four songs left. Joe started the verse of Take A Breath and I started the guitar. We reached the chorus and the three of us sang. Nick was having a ball and began his one flip for the show. Everything was going well until…


	3. Chapter 2

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

Gasps came from everyone in the auditorium. I dropped my guitar and sprinted over to Nick. Joe was already there and was trying to wake him up but it wouldn't work. He had been in mid-air when all of a sudden his body went limp and he came crashing down onto the stage. Paramedics came rushing to his side and then a stretcher was brought out. As they carried him away security was trying to clear everyone from the hall. A lot of the girls were trying to jump on to the stage so I grabbed one of the microphones and made an announcement. "Can everyone listen up please?" The crowd turned their eyes to me and listened intently. "I know you are all eager to know what's going on and I understand your curiosity, but as soon as we know what is happening we will let you know. As for now, could you please exit the hall in an orderly fashion. Thanks." After standing there watching them stare at me for a minute a few people started to leave and then others followed. I made my way to the back of the stage and watched as the ambulance drove away with Nick. Joe and Frankie came and found me as I wondered around aimlessly, trying to think things through. Frankie handed me my car keys and I took it that they wanted me to drive them to the hospital to check on Nick and our parents.

We reached the hospital and found Mum and Dad. They were in the waiting room pacing back and forth frantically.

"What's happening? Is he all right? Is he hurt? Oh my god, he's not injured is he?" Joe, Frankie and I threw questions at our parents from all directions and they stood there trying to understand us. "What are they doing? Is he going to be okay? Can we see him?"

"Boys! Calm down. We don't know what's going on yet but it would be far easier for us to stay composed if we don't have you throwing questions at us." At this stage our parents had been told nothing. Not a single word had left the doctors mouth unless it was to tell our parents they were not allowed to see their second youngest son. We took a seat and patiently awaited word of Nick's condition.

Half an hour later and Doctor Way entered the waiting room. The five of us took our eyes off the floor and faced him. "Mr and Mrs Jonas, your son is awake." Mum and Dad jumped out of their seats followed by Joe, Frankie and myself. "He collapsed because his blood sugar level was at a tremendous low. We gave him insulin and he should be fine. We are still unsure as to how is sugar levels got so low as he was wearing his OmniPod when we brought him in. We want to keep him in overnight to try and sort out what went wrong." Mum was wringing her hands, impatiently waiting for the doctor to tell us we could see Nick. I watched as her eyes moved around the room from the doctor, to the doors leading to Nick, and over to Dad before making it's way to Joe, Frankie and I. "You are allowed to go see him now and I can permit two of you to stay with him for the night. Sorry I can't allow more but he is in a small room and it would become crowded with anymore than that. I'll let you decide who stays but for the moment you can all go see him. He is in room 213." Frankie and Joe sprinted for the doors, closely followed by Mum and Dad, then myself.

I entered Nick's room and saw him lying there, smile across his face. Mum was smothering him as Dad stood to the side, awaiting his turn. Frankie sat at his feet, swinging his legs back and forth. I tried to keep my focus on Nick but I had a constant nagging in my brain, as though there was something I needed to do.

"We haven't called Jess and Chelsea!" I exclaimed, reaching for my phone. "I'll be right back." I stepped out of the room and dialed Chelsea's number. When she answered I was surprised.

"Jess and I are in the waiting room. Come get us? They won't let us in." I forgot that it would have been on the news by now, of course they would know. As I neared the waiting room doors I could see the two of them looking through the small window. They flung the door open, and wrapped their arms around me, wiping their tear-stained cheeks over my chest. Questions flew out of their mouths at lightning speed and I could only understand them due to my years of training in the language of an emotional Chelsea and Jess. I pried their arms away from me and dragged them to Nick's room. As I looked through the window while opening the door I saw his already huge smile get even bigger.

"J-Dog! C-Dog! You're here!" Nick flung his arms out waiting for them to hug him and they did so swiftly. Yet again the questions were spat out from each of them and it wasn't until Nick told them he was fine that they stopped.

"Nicholas dear, we need you to decide which two of us you want to stay with you tonight and keep you company. The rest of us will need to go within half an hour." Mum had calmed down and was now sitting next to Nick's bed.

"How am I supposed to decide between all of you? Who doesn't want to stay? And don't be afraid to say you don't. I understand staying in a hospital isn't going to be everyone's idea of a great night." Joe was first to say no, saying he had been looking forward to sleeping in a real bed all week. Chelsea had work the next morning so she opted out of staying. Mum and Dad said no as they would have to look after whoever didn't stay, which left Nick with a choice of Frankie, Jess and myself.

"Frankster, you really should be going home with Mum and Dad and getting a good nights sleep, even if you don't want to. Sorry Frank. So that leaves Jess and Kevin. Do the two of you want to stay?"

"Well we didn't say we don't." Jess and I took a step to the side as the others said goodbye to Nick. When they finished we sat down next to Nick's bed and spoke for and listened to him sing before falling asleep.

A little bit longer and I'll be fine… 


	4. Chapter 3 Part 1

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath Chapter 3/ Part 1

Nick had been home for just under two weeks and he seemed to be in top shape. The doctors had discovered his OmniPod was malfunctioning and that was why he collapsed. They replaced it with a working one and Nick was free to leave. We didn't have to miss any tour dates, which was great, and the rest of the tour was finished without a hitch. Interviews and appearances didn't need to be cancelled and everything continued as planned.

During another of our comment fests I stumbled upon a link to the IMDb boards and it opened to the "Official Get Well Soon Nick" thread. I opened it and inside were hundreds of comments offering Nick their love and support. He went through them and when he finished we decided to read some of the other threads. Some of the titles were a little weird but it was so great to see people from all over the world coming together. Advice was given on a range of topics, links to videos to cheer people up or shout-outs to each other were everywhere and there were even posts about killing the posting quota. I wish I had more time to browse through it but we were going to be late if we didn't leave soon. I logged off myspace and turned the computer off before making my way to the kitchen to grab a red bull.

We entered the studio and were lead to our dressing room. Waiting outside was Ellen Degeneres, saying hello before we went on the air.

Our dressing room was…cosy, I guess you could say…but it had a couch and a mirror; basically, everything we needed. We did some warming up and said a prayer before we went in front of the cameras.

Halfway through the interview Ellen started to ask Nick about his collapse. He hadn't really said anything about it to interviewers before so I thought it would be interesting to hear what he tells Ellen. The extent of his explanation was "my OmniPod didn't work properly so I collapsed".

The subject was changed and everybody was laughing until Nick stopped.


	5. Chapter 3 Part 2

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

His body went flaccid and he fell off the couch. The audience screamed and Ellen called for paramedics. Joe and I grabbed his body and carefully lay him down on the ground. Teenage girls were crying and running around the studio, arms flailing. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what was going on with Nick. I could focus on everything that was happening except what was important. I knew I needed to help Nick but my legs just wouldn't move.

"Kevin. Kevin! KEVIN!" My attention was drawn to Joe's voice breaking me out of my trance. "They're taking him to the hospital now. Come on." He dragged me off of the couch and to the car. "Should I drive?"

"Joe, no matter what condition I'm in, I should always be the one behind the wheel." He threw me the keys and I fumbled to catch them. I sat in my car and started the engine. The hum of the motor was somehow soothing in all of the drama. The trip to the hospital seemed to take forever, although it was only five minutes to get there. I parked the car and Joe and I sprang out and sprinted for the entrance. People watched us as we raced to check our brother's condition. Eyes followed us on our mission, racing to the waiting room to find our parents. Yet again they had been left in the lurch. Neither of them had a clue what was going on, and Mum could be heard muttering; "my baby, my baby."

We're one mistake from being together, let's not ask why it's not right

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. Chelsea was calling, obviously about Nick.

"Hello? We don't know yet, we haven't been told a thing. Come to the hospital. You're practically family you should be let in. If not I'll get you two in. Thanks Chels, see you soon." The screen read end call and I placed it back in my pocket.

Hospitals had never taken my fancy before, and they sure weren't doing it now. The walls covered in posters of sick people whose illnesses were treated within metres of where I stood and the surfaces touched by the aforementioned sick persons, did not captivate me. Nothing could keep me distracted and my mind kept trying to figure out what had happened with Nick. Had his OmniPod malfunctioned again? Had he used it incorrectly? Was he suffering from a lack of sleep? Questions and more questions stormed through my head, taken up all the space they could.

Through the passageway I saw Chelsea and Jessica step out of the elevator. Their footsteps increasing in volume and speed as they neared.

Doctor Way appeared from the other side of the swinging doors. "Mr and Mrs Jonas, would you like for your sons to hear this?" Unsure of what exactly to make of Doctor Way's question, Dad nodded his head. "All right. Your son is…"


	6. Chapter 4

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

"Your son is in a coma. I'm sorry." Silence surrounded me. Not a single noise could be heard. I knew people were talking and yet I could not make out what they were saying. Slowly sound came back, but it was still muffled and I was unsure of what was being said. Mum was crying in Dad's arms and Joe and Jess were hugging. Chelsea was holding Frankie in her arms as the two of them cried and I just stood there, unable to move.

Eventually I was able to hear again. Doctor Way took us to Nick's room and Jess broke down. Tears streamed down her face and she collapsed into a heap on the floor. It was obvious she would be the one to stay with him if it were possible.

Looking around the room I realised none of us really knew what to do. We had never been in this situation before and we had no idea how to deal with it. Jess was still on the floor but she was now holding onto Nick's hand.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes until Doctor Way returned. His strong composure felt unwanted in the room filled with breaking hearts.

"Sorry to interrupt but once again, the visiting hours are ending soon and you will need to decide who is going to stay here, if anyone. I'll give you five minutes to decide." His footsteps could be heard moving off down the hall as heads turned to look at Jess, still on the ground. A silent agreement was made that Jess would be one of the two spending the night with Nick, now to choose the second person. We all knew it wouldn't be Frankie because we needed someone who would support Jess. Yet again, Mum and Dad both decided not to stay, stating their reason as "someone had to look after Frankie". That left Joe, Chelsea and myself. I chose not to stay as I had been with him last time. It was decided that Chelsea would stay for the first night and we would take it in turns from then on.

As I sat in my room, listening to whatever songs my iPod chose to play, I thought of what Jess and Chelsea would be doing. I could imagine them telling stories and playing games all the while, wishing they didn't have to. Chelsea would be asking questions all the time, wanting to know exactly how each piece of machinery worked and what was going on with Nick's brain. Jess on the other hand would be silently battling against the thought of Nick being in a coma. She would go over numerous scenarios resulting in it all being a dream. Seriousness was not one of her strong points and dealing with illness was even more of a weakness.

I drifted off to sleep, only to dream of what was happening in the hospital.

"_Chelsea?" Jess said as she lay next to Nick on the hospital bed. _

"_Yeah Jess, what's up?" Chelsea sat on the chair next to Nick's head, gently playing with his hair. They had been left alone for almost an hour now and Chelsea could feel her eyes getting heavier._

"_Did you find out what's wrong with him yet?" Her voice was shaky as she spoke, unsure if she wanted to hear what Chelsea would say._

"_No, the doctors have all said they aren't sure what is wrong with him. They are still trying to find out. Why don't you try and get some sleep. I'll stay up and see if I can find out anything else." She seemed so calm and stable unlike everything around her. Jess knew it was all an act, Chelsea couldn't be that composed on the inside; she was doing it all to make those around her happy. Really she was tearing herself up, wishing she could do something to help Nick. _

"_No Chels, you need the sleep more than I do. I'll get some sleep when you wake up and don't bother protesting, I won't give in." Chelsea got up from her seat and lay in the guest bed. _

"_Thanks Jess. Wake me up if you want to." She closed her eyes and let her dreams take her away from the drama, leaving Jess with her best friend. _

_An hour had passed since Chelsea fell asleep and Jess had kept herself awake by telling Nick stories about beautiful princesses and handsome princes. When she ran out of ideas she retold stories from their childhood. Birthdays, Christmases, Easters, any holiday she could think of, it was mentioned. _

_Two more hours passed and Chelsea began to stir. As soon as she was awake Jess' eyes were closed and she was out of it. _

_Doctors came and went and every time Chelsea would ask them if they knew anything more about Nick's condition. Each time she would receive the same answer; "we're still waiting on the results, but we will let you know." _


	7. Chapter 5

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

I pushed through the waiting room doors and walked toward Nick's room. Through the window I could see Jess on the bed and Chelsea on the seat next to it. They had been there with him all night and it was my turn to relieve one of them of their responsibility. I reached for the door handle and entered his room. Chelsea turned to face me and I could see the huge bags under her eyes. She moved toward me and fell into my arms. I pulled her into a hug as tears formed in her eyes.

Over on the bed Jess was still asleep, and Nick still in a coma. My morning had been weird enough, waking up and not seeing Nick on the couch watching the morning news with Dad, and this was not helping. The thought of his body lying limp while his brain was working overtime was enough to send a chill up my spine. Chelsea removed her arms from around my waist and I nodded toward the door, letting her know she could leave. She moved back to the bed and held Nick's hand for a moment before giving me one last hug and walking out the door.

I took a seat where she had been and sat quietly in prayer, oblivious to my surroundings. In most situations silence is calming, but the silence of a hospital room is just eerie. The occasional beeping of machinery was unwelcome as it made everything seem real. I didn't want to be sitting in my little brother's hospital room. He shouldn't be here. He should be outside, living his life, with the people he loves; not lying here putting us through all this pain. It must be horrible, thinking, breathing, dreaming, but not moving. Just lying still, day after day. His brain was probably tripling all the thinking I was doing. There were so many new ideas to comprehend; I was starting to lose control of my thoughts. I tried to keep them to a minimum but no matter how hard I tried this persistent need to understand what was going on kept coming to the front of my mind.

"Kevin? Where's Chelsea?" Jess was awake now and attempting to carefully remove herself from Nick's bed. "Help?" I attempted to let out a small laugh but it turned into more of a grunt. "Never mind then." She got off the bed by herself and walked out of the room. The whole situation was making everyone testy and I'm sure the small amount of sleep Jess had was not helping her mood.

After she had shut the door I moved toward the bed and looked at Nick. A tear traveled down my face as I reminisced on memories (A/N: coz we're gone…) from our childhood. The good, the bad and the ugly. Days when Joe would be blamed for everything, before Mum and Dad finally understood I was the troublemaker. When Nick would make up songs about everything. "If only you could write a song now…"

"Kevin? Kevin?! Is that you?" Nick ran through the forest toward the voice. He had lived through this scene a hundred times, but the voices weren't always the same nor did they feel the need to be familiar. He continued searching for around half an hour before losing track of the voice completely. He collapsed on the ground and held himself in the fetal position, thinking, Why me? Am I undeserving of the life I led?

"Nick! Why won't you wake up?" Jess' voice broke through his thoughts as Nick jumped up and ran in the direction of her voice. "I need you Nicholas, don't leave me." Her desperate pleas were bringing tears to Nick's eyes. With each word he found it harder to keep them back. He felt like screaming, yelling at God for leaving him in this condition, but he resisted. It would be of no use. He was on his own from now on and he had to get used to it.

"Jess! I'm coming!" Nick pushed through the pain barrier and kept running, he couldn't lose her again. He needed someone to keep him sane, and he needed him or her fast.

"Kevin…" I was interrupted by Jess re-entering the room. "I'm sorry about before, I just…I can't do this. I can't watch Nick lying there everyday, unable to move."

"It's ok, I understand. We're all going through the same thing." She moved closer and I pulled her in for a hug. I felt her tears hitting my arm and hugged her tighter. "We can get through this. I promise."


	8. Chapter 6

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

"If morning never comes, for either one of us, then this I pray to you wherever. I'll do anything for you, this story is for you. I'll do anything for you, kill anyone for you."

Jess had been sitting next to Nick's bed for two weeks straight and everyday she would sing him the same song; 'Wake Up' by Coheed and Cambria. The rest of us took it in turns checking up on her, as well as Nick. We would bring her food and things to do whenever we thought she would need it. Occasionally one of us would spend the night with her but the more time that passed, the less frequent those stays became.

As Nick was a coma patient, he had no need for a television or radio so Jess would keep herself entertained re-telling stories and making up her own, or singing him songs. For the times when she needed a break from her surroundings she would take a short walk outside then return to his room and play games on her DS. Luckily she had finished school last year or she would have been falling further and further behind with each passing day.

None of us knew when she would decide to return home, or if she would at all.

Today was it was my turn to visit Nick and bring Jess some food. I grabbed the bag of pop tarts and mountain dew off the bench and picked up my keys. As I sat in the front seat of my Jeep I thought of the first night Nick collapsed. Questions had been answered then; everything had an explanation, but not now. The doctors were still unsure of what had gone wrong and why Nick had been left in a coma. Chelsea had a number of plausible theories; so plausible the doctors had even decided to test them, but each time they came back with no results or more questions to answer.

I reached the hospital ten minutes later and made my way to room 448. The door was slightly ajar and I could hear a voice, most likely Jess'.

"Where I will annoy you, with every waking breath, until you decide to wake up…"

"Knock knock. It's Kevin." I pushed the door and watched it swing open. "I brought you some pop tarts and mountain dew. Is everything ok?" She turned her head to face me and followed my every move around the room. I placed the bag of food on the table next to the bed and stood next to Jess. "Are you going to talk today?" She glanced up at me then turned back to Nick and reached for his hand. I saw her shake her head. "Ok then…maybe another time." I sat in the seat on the other side of Nick's bed and locked eyes with Jess. Neither of us blinked and not a word was said. At the same time we looked down at Nick.

Roughly fifteen minutes into my visit Jess got out of her seat and grabbed the pop tarts. While opening them she walked out the door. Her body moved like a robot; her skin looking pale and ghostly. She was starting to look worse than Nick.

"We'll look after her for you. I know that's what you'd want." For a moment I thought I saw his lip move, but I must have been mistaken. I sat with him until Jess returned before I said one final prayer and left. I pulled the door closed behind me and as I walked away I could hear Jess' voice.

"Once upon a time there was a handsome prince, known as Nicholas…"


	9. Chapter 7

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

Jess sat in the same position she had been in for a month now. Her eyes were directed at his curly hair and brown eyes. Her right hand held his while her left held a notebook. She had spent weeks reciting stories from memory and had started to run out of stories to tell. Her last resort was her diary. Not a single soul had even known about the diary, let alone read it. She kept the most intimate details of her life in it. Every day a new entry was made, and the past month was no exception. She decided to start from the beginning, reading each entry for Nick, hoping to provoke some kind of reaction. The first entry had been made at the start of the new millennium.

My new years resolutions:

Let everyone know my true feelings, good or bad.

Write in my new diary, every day.

Tell Nick all my secrets. As a best friend he deserves to know.

She thought back to that year, knowing she had only fulfilled one of her resolutions. Her true feelings about Nick were described in the next entry, but he had never heard all of them.

Nicholas Jerry Jonas; my best friend. I love him more than anything in this world. Not in that way (just incase someone finds this), but as the brother I always wanted. If I ever had to live without him, I don't know how I would cope. He has helped me so many times I can never repay him. I just wish he would open up more. Although he tells me a lot, I feel as though there's more. Something hasn't been said, and I wish it had been.

She removed her eyes from the page and looked at Nick again. "There, I've told him now. He knows my true feelings. One more resolution left." Her eyes averted to the clock on the wall reading 3am. She closed her diary and lay in the guest bed.

Another two weeks had passed since I had taken Jess food. Mum was usually the one to do it and I tried to visit Nick in the few breaks Jess took from his room. She still hadn't spoken to me since the first time I stayed with her and Joe was the only one not receiving the silent treatment.

I had awoken this particular Tuesday morning with a horrible feeling in my stomach. The calendar was open on September and it was the third week of the month. The 16th; what should be a day of celebration. Nick's 16th birthday.

A few days before the family had decided we would all visit Nick at the same time to say a prayer together. I pulled myself out of bed and walked into my bathroom. After my shower I got dressed and walked into the kitchen. The family, minus Joe who was still getting ready, plus Chelsea who was joining us for the prayer, was in the kitchen.

When Joe was ready we all got in the van and Dad drove us to the hospital. For the first time since Nick was admitted, there was a group of fans starting to form outside. The all had "get well" posters and they were singing A Little Bit Longer. There voices were not doing the song justice, but it's the thought that counts. Joe and I started singing along with them silently.

Every time you smile or laugh you glow, you don't even know…

When the song finished they began singing Happy Birthday and flipped their posters around to show their signs reading 'Happy 16th Nick'. Joe and I followed Mum and Dad into the hospital and up to Nick's room.

Jess was still sitting by his bed but this time she held a book. Chelsea had a surprised look on her face, as though she knew what the book was, but never expected to see it.

"That must be her diary." She whispered, moving her hand to her mouth.

Joe spun around to face Chelsea. "Her diary? Jess has a diary?" I couldn't believe it either. She didn't seem like the diary type.

"She's had it for eight years now, but I've never seen it. No one knows where she keeps it, not her sisters, not myself. She hadn't even _told_ Nick about it."

Dad opened the door and Mum followed him inside. Frankie crept through the door and snuck over to Jess. She quickly shut the book and placed it under a pile of magazines next to Nick's bed as Frank jumped onto her lap and wrapped his arms around her. A small smile crept onto her face as she looked down at Frankie but it was soon gone when Doctor Way chose now to come and talk to us.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jonas, could I have a word with you outside?" Mum took Dad's hand and they followed Doctor Way out of the room.


	10. Chapter 8

There's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath

"Mr. and Mrs. Jonas, could I have a word with you outside?" Mum took Dad's hand and they followed Doctor Way out of the room.

The rest of us turned to watch them leave, then averted our gaze back to one another, unsure of what was going on. I moved over to the door in an attempt to hear what was being said but it was no use. They were too far away from the door for me to hear so I took a seat and we waited for them to return.

Mum was the first to come back, tears filling her eyes but not yet flowing. Dad was still talking to the doctor, his voice gradually rising in volume. It was not like our father to get angry or upset, but everything that had happened was really taking its toll on him.

"HOW CAN YOU-" Snippets of their conversation could be made out already but if it continued any longer we would soon hear every word. "YOU DON'T KNOW! WHY NOT?" I looked at Mum and she nodded toward the door. I stood up and left the room in an attempt to calm my father down.

"Dad…" He stopped yelling long enough to look at me and when he saw my face the rage left his expression.

"I- I'm sorry. It's just- all this hospital stuff is getting to me." His eyes were filled with regret. He didn't want to yell, it just happened. "So Doctor, you were saying…"

"Are you sure you want your son to hear this?" The Doctor tilted his head toward me and Dad nodded.

"He can probably deal with it better than any of us."

"Alright. Nicholas's coma was caused by-"

"Wait. Dad, don't you think Chelsea should be hearing this. She's the one who understands everything the Doctors say." I couldn't hear it without Chelsea. If I wasn't able to deal with it, Chelsea would be my only lifeline. She needed to hear this.

"I guess…Go get her." He nudged my arm and pushed in the direction of the door. I walked into the room and grabbed her hand, dragging her out behind me.

"Ok, are we ready now?" Doctor Way was starting to get frustrated so we nodded our heads and motioned for him to continue. "Nicholas's condition is being caused by a large tumor in his frontal lobe." It was all I could do not to collapse right then and there, and I'm sure Chelsea was feeling the same way. "There are two options of how to deal with this. Would you like to discuss them now?" I followed Chelsea's eyes as they peered at my Dad and I saw the pain behind his eyes. I wasn't sure if he could deal with all of it right now, but I knew someone had to.

"Dad, you go console Mum. Chelsea and I will talk to Doctor Way." Without looking up Dad shuffled into Nick's room and shut the door behind him. Through the window I could see him move next to Mum and engulf her in a hug. Little Frankie walked over to them and wrapped his arms around their legs, before Joe and Jess joined their hug. "So, what are the options?"

"Well firstly, we can leave him be and wait for a change in his condition. That option basically means leaving him here in a coma, waiting for him to wake up. Your second option, is surgery to remove the tumor, but you will find there can be complications with this."

"Complications? What kind of complications?" My heart raced as I said this and I could feel Chelsea's heart beating as she wrapped her arms around me for support.

"Depending on the placement of the tumor, there is generally a 50/50 chance as to whether he will make it through the surgery." The doctor was so calm about it and I could see Chelsea struggling to grasp the idea of risking Nick's life. "But there is also a 50/50 chance when it comes to your first option. We cannot be sure if he will wake up from the coma, or when, so either way you are left with roughly the same dilemma."

"How long do we get to decide?" I breathed out heavily as I thought about the idea of making a life or death decision about my little brother.

"You can have as long as you like, but I suggest making a decision within the next week or so." The next week or so. We had a week to decide how Nick should risk his life. Surgery or sleep. Removing the tumor, or hopefully, living with it.

"O-ok. Well, we better go inform the others." I grabbed Chelsea's hand and walked into the room where the family was still hugging.

Five pairs of eyes flicked toward Chelsea and I. The pressure upon us continually increased and my head started to throb.

"We have a week or so to decide between surgery or leaving Nick like this…"


	11. Chapter 9

After explaining the options to the family Chelsea was the only one with an opinion

After explaining the options to the family Chelsea was the only one with an opinion. She was the only one fully capable of comprehending the situation we had been left in. Jess had gone completely silent yet again and the rest of us left the hospital to discuss the matter at hand. We dropped Frankie at Chelsea's house to hang out with her little brother while we had our conversation.

"Personally, I think the surgery is the way to go. The thought of leaving Nick lying there for God knows how long creeps me out. Don't you want to actively do something about the situation? I thought we were all sick of not being able to do anything?" Chelsea kept rambling about her decision and the rest of us just blocked it out. How could we possibly decide the future of a family member in a week's time? I guess Chelsea had a good point, there isn't much that creeps her out and Nick lying in the hospital bed…

"I agree with Chelsea." A smile grew on Chelsea's face and she grabbed my hand.

"Thanks Kevin." I could see a look of worry building on Dad's face.

"What makes you sure that's the right decision Kevin?" I knew he wasn't trying to offend Chelsea but she took it that way. The smile was wiped right off her face. "You go from having no idea what you want to do to deciding that whatever Chelsea says is right. Do you have some logic behind that?" I hope he isn't offending her deliberately…

"Well there isn't a great deal of logic behind my decision. I just trust Chelsea's opinion. She is the one who understands what the doctors say." When I looked up I received a piercing stare from my father. He obviously disapproved of my way of thinking.

"But how can you base your decision on how you feel about someone else's reasoning? It just doesn't make sense." Dad continually put down Chelsea until I received a call from Jess, asking if I could come down to the hospital. Nothing important, she just wanted a friend.

"Look, I'd love to continue this lovely conversation but Jess is finally talking to me so I'm going to go see her." I grabbed Chelsea's hand and pulled my keys out of my pocket. "We'll see you all later."

We reached the hospital and walked up to Nick's room. Chelsea pushed the door open and Jess started talking.

"Surgery. Let him have the surgery." She didn't take her eyes off of Nick, her gaze firmly locked on his long curls. "I don't want to see him like this anymore." She turned her head to face us and a lone tear rolled down her cheek. Chelsea moved over to her and hugged her.

"I'll wait for you outside, k?" Chelsea nodded and I pulled the door shut behind me. I could just hear their voices through the small gap in the window.

"Are you sure you don't want to come home with us and tell the others what you think?"

"_I- I can't do it. I don't want to face Denise and Paul, I'm worried they won't let me come back." _

"_Jess, they wouldn't do that to you. They know how much he means to you."_

"_But, I just can't leave. I owe it to Nick. He's been there for me through everything." _

"_Ok, but please, think about coming home soon. We miss you like crazy."_

_They hugged a final time before Chelsea left. Kevin and Chelsea watched Jess through the window until she started talking._

"_I thought you might like to know how the baseball is going…" _


	12. Chapter 10

"Nick Jonas, of pop sensation the Jonas Brothers is still…" The TV was on and some news update was blaring in the background a

"Nick Jonas, of pop sensation the Jonas Brothers is still…" The TV was on and some news update was blaring in the background as I cooked dinner for my parents. As soon as I heard Nick's name I ran to the lounge and jumped on the sofa. "But we want to be the first to inform of this breaking news. We have just learnt he is suffering from a brain tumor and will be receiving surgery to remove the tumor within the next couple of weeks."

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" My voice echoed through the house as I screamed at the top of my lungs. I heard footsteps moving down the stairs hurriedly as Dad called out.

"What is it Kevin?" His voice was disgruntled when I saw his face appear in the doorway.

"When did you decide Nick was getting the surgery!? Shouldn't you tell the family before telling the media?" My voice kept rising in volume as I began getting angry with my father.

"I thought your mother told you. We assumed since you, Chelsea and Jess wanted him to have it so bad we would follow your wish." I resisted the urge to yell back even louder, not wanting to make him mad.

"O-ok. When's the surgery?"

"Friday next week." I knew Dad didn't want to talk about it but he hadn't even told his own sons!

"Does Joseph know? What about Jess? And Frankie? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Son, I'm not having this conversation right now." He turned and left, just like that. Our family is going downhill, fast.

The past week had been spent arguing with family members and avoiding the media. Everywhere I turned cameras would be flashing and someone would start asking questions. It was Thursday and I was trying to patiently await Nick's surgery, but patience was one thing I had none of.

"Please, just let me get to my car." I pushed through a crowd of photographers, reaching for the car door. When I couldn't get to the door my temper got the better of me. "GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Everyone jumped back. "Thank you." I straightened my shirt, got in the car and drove home.

I entered the house and ran up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door shut behind me and turned the radio on. Sitting on my bed was someone I hadn't thought I would see in our house for a while.

"Jess?" Her back was facing me, so I wasn't 100 per cent sure that it was her, but the voice gave it away.

"Kevin, where were you?" Her face was nowhere near as pale as it had been and her voice returning to its usual tone. "Oh that doesn't matter anyway."

"Jess, why are you here? You haven't left the hospital in months and you decide to leave the day before Nick's surgery…" She fumbled her way around my room, knocking things over and tripping on shoes lying in the floor.

"I didn't see a point in staying." Jess walked over to my desk and picked up a picture. It was of Nick, Joe, Chelsea, Jess and myself when we were all under the age of 10. A smile appeared on her face. "The group will be reunited tomorrow, why wallow in a hospital?"

"What do you mean, 'the group will be reunited'?" The way she was talking was starting to worry me.

"Well after the surgery Nick will wake up and we can all hang out again. Right?" She placed the picture back on my desk and proceeded to trawl through my stuff.

"Jess…" I placed a consoling hand on her arm and turned her toward me. "We- We can't be sure that the surgery will be a success."

"But, Paul said…" The smile was quickly drained from her face and worry took over.

"If Dad told you Nick would be fine then he was trying to convince himself as much as he was you. No one knows how the surgery will go, not even the doctors."

"But he said. PAUL SAID HE'D BE FINE!" The tears were streaming down her cheeks and she clenched her fists to try and fight back the pain.

"Jess just calm down. We don't know what's going to happen."

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! You're basically telling me my best friend is going to die and you're telling me to calm down! What is wrong with you!?" She tried to run for the door but I grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Do you think I WANT to be the one telling you there's a chance my little brother is going to die? Just because I haven't sat next to his bed everyday for months doesn't mean I care any less than you do. I have been trying to hold on for the family's sake. Everyday I feel like breaking down but I don't because I know if I do, things are going to spiral down even lower. Maybe next time you decide to freak out, think about what you're saying and who you're saying it to." I dropped her arm and looked away. "You can go now."

"Kevin…"

"I said you can go."


	13. Chapter 11

"Do I have to go to school Mum

"Do I have to go to school Mum?" Nick lay in his bed, tossing and turning, awaiting his Mother's reply.

"_Nicholas, if you aren't sick then you're going to school. Now get out of bed." _ _Denise left his room and went down stairs, leaving Nick to crawl out of bed. He threw the blankets off and rolled onto the ground. _

"_Ugghh." As he pulled himself up he started falling. Slowly drifting further and further into the black abyss beneath him. _

"Kevin! Kevin! Wake up!" I rolled over and saw Mum shaking me awake. "Breakfast is ready. Be down in ten minutes." She closed the door and I jumped out of bed. I threw the nearest hoodie on and ran downstairs. When I entered the kitchen Chelsea was sitting at the breakfast bar.

"Hey Kevin. Corn pops?" She handed me a bowl of corn pops and the milk carton. I took a seat and poured the milk over the cereal, reaching for a spoon so I could dig in.

"Sho whe oo ee lea foor e osial?" My mouth being stuffed full with food meant I could not speak coherently but Chelsea was able to understand me.

"In an hour so hurry up with the corn pops boy and get in the shower!" I shoveled in the rest of the food and run back upstairs. As I jumped in the shower the warm water felt soothing and I was taken away from all the troubles I knew today would bring.

When I turned the water off I was suddenly brought back to reality. Today was the day. Nick's surgery was happening in less than two hours and I hadn't thought about it since last night. I threw on the clothes I had chosen quickly and ran to the lounge where the rest of the family sat waiting for me.

"Hurry up Kevin, we need to be there soon." Dad was getting impatient and I did not want to be on his bad side again.

"You guys just go without me, I'll come later on."

"Ugh alright, come on everybody let's go." Dad rounded up the family and led them outside. Chelsea chose to stay and wait with me, knowing being alone was not a good idea for any of us today.

"So do you want to be there for the whole thing, or would you like to get there near the end?" I asked Chelsea just in case she didn't want to stay for the whole thing.

"Um, I think I'd like to stay here for a while, unless you want to go now."

"No no, it's ok, I wanted to stay here too. I just need to take a break from everything for a little while. Maybe we can, I don't know uhh, play a board game… or something while we wait." I moved over to the games cabinet and opened the doors. Chelsea walked straight toward Cluedo and started setting it up. "I thought that's what you'd choose." I smiled at her as she split up the cards and placed the weapons on the board.

"I'm Miss Scarlet!" She picked up the red player piece and placed it at Miss Scarlet's starting point. I reached for the green piece and placed it over Mr. Green's starting point. Chelsea rolled the die and we started playing.


	14. Chapter 12

"Colonel Mustard in the lounge room with the candlestick

"Colonel Mustard in the lounge room with the candlestick." We had been playing Cluedo for nearly an hour now and we had restarted the game about seven times.

"Nope." She showed me the card with Colonel Mustard and took her turn. "Mrs. White in the lounge room with the candlestick."

"Wrong. Tricked you." I pulled out the card showing the candlestick. "Let's watch some TV, I'm bored." We got up and moved over to the couch, turning the TV on. Chelsea took the remote from my hand and started changing channels.

"Today on- Climate con- You're wa-"

"Why isn't there anything on?" She continued flicking through all of the channels until she settled on E. They were busily talking about Amy Winehouse's latest stunt and her newest stint in rehab so I decided to start up a new conversation.

"So…you like…stuff?" _Geez Kevin, great job of removing the awkward silence, _I thought to myself.

"Uhh…not really…maybe we should finish up the game of Cluedo…" I left the TV on and moved back over to the game. We picked up where we had left off and continued the game until Chelsea eventually won. "I told you I'd beat you! Rematch?"

"How about we play something else…like snap?" I stretched my arm as far as it would go until I was about an inch away from the games cupboard.

"Here, let me get that." Chelsea slowly stood up and began walking to the cupboard and was nearly there when she made a quick detour toward me. Her arms reached out and she started tickling me until I couldn't breathe.

"Please. Ple- Sto- Stop. Ser-" I couldn't form a sentence because of all the breathing I was trying to do in between the laughter. Even though I was finding it difficult to breathe I knew I couldn't give in or that would be another thing she could hold against me. She continued tickling for what seemed like forever until I couldn't take it any longer. "MERCY! Please mercy!" She removed her hands and stood up, reaching for the deck of cards near the top of the cupboard.

"Ready to lose snap too?"

"Snap! HA I WIN!" My outstretched hand pulled the pile of cards back toward me as I basked in the glory of my third consecutive win at snap. The television broadcasters must have known I had won as the chorus of 'S.O.S.' started playing and I whipped out the S.O.S. dance during my victory lap around the living room.

"Nick Jonas, the youngest Jonas Brother, has been undergoing surgery for his brain tumor for the past two hours. It is still unknown whether he will make it out alive. Stay tuned for more updates as the day goes on. Good luck Nick."

"It's been two hours! I didn't realise it had been so long! We should get to the hospital!" I grabbed my car keys as Chelsea started speaking and we both slipped our shoes on and ran to the car. I jumped in the drivers seat and turned the radio on to hear if anything more was to be said.

My foot reached the floor as I sped through the gates and out onto the traffic-filled roads. I slowed down rapidly as we approached a set of traffic lights. We were only ten minutes away from the hospital but because of the traffic it was going to take much longer. I turned left as the light changed to green and drove as fast as possible until we approached some road works. Traffic was backed up terribly and there was no way we could get through fast enough. I looked at Chelsea and she looked at me, then we both looked at our feet. We knew what we had to do.

The end was near. I could see the entrance to the hospital as Chelsea and I sprinted toward the doors. We jumped into the elevator and went to level four. The two of us ran to the waiting room and saw my parents and brothers sitting there with Jess, eyes full of tears. Over the loudspeaker the radio could be heard.

"Today is a sad day for us all. Young Nicholas Jonas, only fifteen years of age, was undergoing surgery to remove a brain tumour when something unknown to us at this moment happened. We are sorry to be the ones to inform you that Nicholas Jerry Jonas has passed away today, November 6 2008. In his memory, we give you Eternity. Rest in peace Nick…"

Looking at a picture of you, in my hands

Wondering if I'm ever gonna see, you again…

"No, no, no, no, no. This isn't happening. No! Not Nick. Not today. NO!" Their cries could be heard from all around the hospital. Paul Kevin Jonas II had just lost his brother and Jessica Rhiannon Crow had just lost her best friend.

Nicholas Jerry Jonas was never coming back…


	15. Chapter 13

"So close yet so far, but in my heart you're here with me, You did not leave, you just went to live in eternity, without you,

"So close yet so far, but in my heart you're here with me, You did not leave, you just went to live in eternity, without you, I don't know how my life will be, but I believe it's not goodbye, coz I will remember you, and I will see you again when I rise, coz I know and I believe, I will see you in eternity…"Kevin and Joe sat in Nick's bedroom singing to try and hold back the tears.

"It's not the same without him. Why did he have to leave?" Joe's voice was quivering and soon enough a tear fell down his cheek. Kevin hugged Joe then lay on Nick's bed, slowly drifting to sleep.

"Kevin! Oh my god! Kevin! You're awake!" My eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the brightness of the room. I was surrounded by my family and best friends. Mum, Dad, Joe, Frankie, Jess, Chelsea and Nick.

"Nick? But…Aren't you…" I must have been dreaming. No way was Nick standing in the same room as the hospital bed I now lay in. "W-why? Why am I-I in h-hospital?" I had machines attached to my body and tubes and things hanging everywhere. A doctor stood to the side, watching my brain activity on a monitor. "What's going on?" My voice was quiet and croaky, my arms and legs stiff.

"Kevin…Uhhh…Well, I'm not sure how to tell you this but," Dad was having trouble forming the right words and I wasn't so sure that I wanted to hear them. "Son…you've been in…in a coma for a few-"

"What! A coma! H-how?" I started breathing heavily, taking in the situation. "How long was I-?"

"You've been here for six months. They removed the tumor earlier today…" I took another look around the room and noticed Jess, Chelsea, Joe and Nick standing in the corner hugging. I was still finding it hard comprehending that I was the one in hospital, not Nick.

"Was it a frontal lobe tumor?" Everyone turned to face me, even the doctor.

"How did you know?" Mum had her arms on the edge of the bed, holding herself up. She looked scared and I hated seeing her that way.

"Uhh, well…" I began explaining the dreams I had been having while in the coma. "And there was this one dream where Nick…where Nick…"

"Where I what? Kevin, what happened?" Nick was starting to fret and I could see a bead of sweat form on his brow.

"You…you were in my position but your surgery…" I could feel the fear levels rise in the room so I continued on. "Well, it didn't work out as well as mine must have…"

"You- You mean…I…I died?" Nick's eyes were wide and his voice quiet. I could see his hands shaking from where I lay.

"You got it. But Jess, Jess was amazing. She sat by your bed everyday and never left your side. Not until the last day, the one just before your surgery, she left coz she thought you would be fine. We've got an excellent friend in you Jess." I smiled at her and she returned it. Everyone was silent for a minute until Joe spoke up.

"Kevin, you obviously don't realize this but you…you have the definition of a perfect friend, and she is standing with us right now."

"What do you mean?" I was utterly confused and it was obviously nothing new when Joe is the one speaking.

"Chelsea. She did exactly what you told us Jess did. Except she NEVER left your side."

"Geez Joe, make me seem like a bad friend for leaving and it was only in Kevin's dreams!" We all laughed at Jess' hilarity but then it went silent. I was looking at Chelsea and she was looking at me. I think everyone picked up on the fact we wanted to talk so they slowly left, giving out their lame excuses.

When it was just the two of us we both went to speak.

"Sorry Chels, you go first." She took my hand in hers and smiled at me.

"I've missed you. A lot." I could see the water building up in her eyes and I could feel mine doing the same.

"_I'd love to be able to say I missed you, but you were with me in my dreams the whole time…"_


End file.
